Survivor
by Bucken-Berry
Summary: One of their own has been taken and brutally attacked. Finding him is only the beginning of the long, dark, twisting road all of them are now on.


A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I wrote anything. Life has been in the way and I've also had the worst writer's block. I just can't seem to write more than a couple hundred words at a time, whether with WIPs or new stories, and with new ones in particular, I can't seem to get very far before losing interest or thinking my idea is totally stupid. I've had this story waiting for a while, though, and I actually like it, so I finally decided to publish it today, so that you have something to read and so that, hopefully, I can get my muses back to work. Thanks to WCGreen for betaing the first chapter- you're the best!

This story will contain graphic rape and torture, as well as following the physical and mental aftereffects of it. If that doesn't sound like something you want to read, please click the back button now.

This first chapter is very short- it mostly serves to introduce the situation and build tension and mystery. (But any questions raised in this chapter will soon be answered, so don't worry if you're a little confused.) Hopefully, subsequent chapters will be longer and better than this one. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the story. Reviews are always appreciated and will help me greatly.

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Olivia Benson had very rarely felt the sensation of being a lone, unarmed person walking into a pack of starving lions. Not when she was taking a scumbag off the streets, not when she was interrogating them; even when they were attacking her, she rarely felt truly afraid.

But this time was different. There were always exceptions to any general rule, and this was one of them.

It would have been easier, she thought as she wiped her sweaty palms on her pants, if it were a hostage situation. Then, she could fix everything with her radio and gun. Call EMS for the injured, use her gun to take down the perpetrators, and her job was done. Sure, there would be traumatized victims, but they recovered, with time.

This was different. There was the slight chance of an armed criminal waiting for them, but this time, it was unlikely; the victim's torturers had probably fled the instant they suspected the cops were on their trail.

The only person who would be at the site was the victim, whose life had been utterly shattered; the danger was to the victim's mental health just as much their physical safety. Olivia had seen it time and time again, too much to be able to convince herself otherwise. The physical injuries alone would take months to heal, and the mental ones would, at best, fade a little. Things would never be the same again for George.

And this time, Olivia would have painful reminders of who the victim had once been. She'd have to see George and know how much he'd been through, and the only thing she could do was be a shoulder for him once they'd rescued him. If they even succeeded in rescuing him at all.

"You can't pick the vic," her partner had said once. That mantra had gotten her through so many cases, but in this one, it only made it worse. To think that someone as kind and gentle as George Huang was a victim just like any other was almost enraging. He wasn't just another victim, and Olivia couldn't stop wishing that it had been someone else. Not that she would wish it on another human being, but she just couldn't think of anyone less deserving than him.

"It'll be okay, Liv," Elliot said softly from the driver's seat. He looked at her for a moment. "We'll find him alive."

Olivia nodded, not wanting to vocalize her thoughts. She could tell that Elliot was thinking the same thing she was, and he was just trying to act calm and reassuring for her sake.

"I know we will, El," she said slowly. "But alive doesn't mean alive _and _well."

Elliot didn't say anything to that, so the drive continued in silence, for what felt like an eternity. The place where George was being held, Adirondack Park, was far out of their jurisdiction, and they were only being allowed to help as a favor from the Feds.

George was their guy, too, after all, and they wanted him back just as much as the FBI did. And the Feds felt that the detectives would be an asset to their operation at this stage- given their knowledge of victims and Huang himself.

A few days after George had gone missing, they'd been forced to allow the FBI to take over the investigation, though they still tried to help when they could. Being allowed in on the rescue was more than they had hoped for; they'd been sure they would be told that they were too close to him, not impartial enough. They still wouldn't be able to interrogate the perps- but they were going to find him.

She just hoped he was alive. In one piece was too much to hope for, but just as long as he was alive, it was okay. The mental and physical pain would make recovery hell for him, but it was better than dying.

At least, it was better to _her_. Something deep within her knew that George was in pain, wherever he was, and that the pain would- assuming it hadn't already- eventually reach a point where it was unbearable to him. When that happened, he could very well decide death was more merciful, and just let go. Give up on trying to survive and stop breathing.

Shivers ran down her spine as her mind conjured images of what could very well be happening to him. She shook her head to clear the thoughts away, swallowed hard, and looked at Elliot again. She had never been a religious person, yet she wished she was, so that she could put her faith in a higher power and ask that being for help and guidance. She wished she had something to pray to for this to turn out okay. At least then she'd feel like she was doing something besides sitting in a car, helplessly worrying about George's fate.

Helpless. She was helpless. George was helpless. Elliot and Munch and Fin and Don were helpless.

And so was George's family. His mother and father were deceased and had been for years, but his brother and sister had been in the loop from the beginning, as had George's lover of twenty-five years. Talking to them about the developments- and, often, the lack thereof- in the case had been almost unbearable. They were hurt and confused and afraid, and it made the whole squad feel like they'd failed. It was an unavoidable feeling when dealing with families.

Exactly how they could have prevented George's abduction was beyond them, but the lack of logic didn't matter. They told themselves the usual things they said to justify blaming themselves. They could have checked in on him, they could have gotten to know more about him so they could have known what was wrong sooner… Anything worked.

They hadn't even known anything was wrong until his lover reported him missing. If they had bothered to treat him halfway decently, acted like they cared about him at all, they could have stopped this from happening, and George would have been okay. If any of them had bothered to befriend him or at least stop keeping him at a distance because of his status as an FBI psychiatrist…

And they had gotten no leads until earlier that very morning, when an anonymous tipster reported seeing George's disappearance and being too afraid to do anything about it until then. At the very least, George had been raped and beaten- the tipster had seen that- but that was the only thing he knew. And it had happened more than six months ago, and it had happened before they'd taken George. Who knew what other tortures he'd undergone? Assuming they hadn't just killed him right away and dumped him, but the anonymous person had said that they had a vendetta against him and had said they wanted to drag the pain out.

By now, he could easily have gone through being raped and beaten again and again, and even worse things could have happened to him. He could have even been killed even if the men wanted to drag the pain out for him. But Olivia refused to entertain that notion. George was alive, he had to be.

She couldn't let George and his family down a second time.


End file.
